Archive | August, 2011

Harlo Tidbits

By on August 26, 2011 in Uncategorized
It has been one exciting week at the Miller Manor, can you guess why?

My proud girl!
Harlo has had a few brief interests in the potty, all which last about an hour and she moves on. Fine by me. Well, on Tuesday morning I realized we hadn’t talked about the potty for a while so I mentioned her big girl panties and she says, “sure, I’ll pee on the potty.” I take off her diaper, she walks to her potty and “spills”. Like it was no big deal at all!

I got her some cranberry juice and she just kept drinkin’ and peein’ all day long. She had ZERO accidents for the first 3 days. She had one small accident on the 3rd day when I was trying to get ready and Brady was home for a few minutes so she just got busy and forgot, but as soon as she started peeing, she ran right to her potty. I think that’s more my fault than hers, but she is such a champ! We’re now on day 4 of potty training and it’s going off without a hitch!

(I’m aware I’m risking jinxing myself here, but I think she’s got it!)

We even had a small outing last night and she made it through with dry pants! :)

I had no idea how exciting this would be! I am so thrilled for my big girl.

A few funny notes:

Everytime she goes she dramatically says “WHAT. A. BIG. GIRL!!!!” about herself. She likes flushing the toilet and then races to get a sticker.

She groups all her stickers together. (ie, she’ll choose the stars everytime until they’re gone, and places them in the chart all together. Same for soccer balls, etc.)

Everytime I go to the bathroom she comes in and says “YAY, MOMMY! I’m so proud for you!”

She calls the potty the “big boy”… “I go potty on the big boy like a big girl!” (no idea where she got this)

The first time she went we were talking about all the big girls who pee in the potty, her cousins kelsee, maycee, maizee, jerzie… she then asked if “Uncle Flint” goes on the big girl potty which I said yes to, and for some reason that one stuck the most. Through the next day she’d say “I pee like a big girl like Uncle Flint!” (Sorry, Clint! lol)

Everyone I talk to on the phone she wants to tell she pee-pees like a big girl, then she wants to show them through the phone… We’ll work on the privacy thing next ;)

Every night before we take her to bed she wants to go over the day and review how she goes on the potty. (This has become my favorite part of the night)

I cannot say it enough, I am SO happy for my big Harlo girl! WaaHoooo, sister!!

Harlo has been so, so sweet the last couple weeks.

I always tease that my girls will plan and switch places with eachother. When Stella’s nice, Harlo’s sassy, when Harlo’s nice, Stella’s sassy!

She’s definitely been picked on by her baby sister lately, but handles it very maturely.

I hear (in a high, motherly tone) “no, no, Stella. You can’t pull my hair,” all through the day.

She has fallen in love with the movie Rio, which I am loving as well.

She loves all the songs in it and is quickly learning all the words, and insists I sing them with her as well. (on the phone or not…)

She keeps talking about Stella’s birthday and letting the balloons off in the sky.

She doesn’t hate the camera anymore which is GREAT.

Every time I tell her to smile she gives me the same face (see last picture from above) it is the best face in the entire world. I don’t even know quite how she does it, but it’s the same every single time. ha.

She will always walk her cup to the sink when she’s done with it. She’ll do this with other cups around the house as well. I don’t know really where she picked up on this, but if we could just teach her dad the same thing. ;) (kidding, B!)

She always wants to go to Papa’s house (my dad) he has a totally child un-friendly house but there’s these little glass statues downstairs in the window seal and she’s obsessed with them. They keep her entertained the whole time we’re there.

Stella and I went to Sacramento a couple weeks ago to visit Haley and when we came back.. the cutest thing ever.

We flew there and missed Harlo and Brady like crazy. When they picked us up from the airport, my big girl’s face when she saw her sister… I still tear up thinking of it.

Brady grabbed Stella right away and Harlo just grabbed her blanky that was hanging and scooped it in her arms and just held it to her face and just breathed it in. Just taking in that sweet smell of her sister she’d missed so much. Absolutely melted me.

She couldn’t stop looking at Stella and giggling the whole way home. (Stella was just as excited!) It seriously made the entire trip so worth it.

She’ll randomly say “I wanna hold you” or “I wanna rockabye” during the day.

I try to indulge this request every time, I know my days are limited of rocking her in my arms.

She always answers her own questions or comments, like “I wanna go to the slide… it’s too hot, it burns your bummy, huh.”

She also adds “for a minute” onto things.

The other day I came into the living room from changing my clothes and the ENTIRE FLOOR of the kitchen was covered in dog food. Stella is obsessed with the dog bowls, and on this particular day, Harlo had shown her how to throw each pebble one by one across the floor. They both had a little time out (mostly to keep them out of the kitchen while I cleaned it) and for the rest of the day Harlo said to Stella, “Stella, never, never, NEVER EVER touch that dog food for a minute!”

Everything she doesn’t want is “I don’t want to”. If I say it’s time to get jammies on, “I don’t want to” if I say “hey, that’s a little too rough with your sister,” it’s, “I don’t want to”. Really it’s more of “I don’t want you to tell me I can’t do something” rather than the actual task you’re talking about.

She’s back to napping okay again. Some days they’re shorter than others but I don’t mind that.

Most days Brady and I get in to bed and giggle ourselves into hysterics about the funny things she says and does all day.

Even with the bad days, I honestly love this age! It’s just so fun.

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Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

By on August 22, 2011 in Uncategorized
Last week while I was getting dressed, Harlo noticed my perfectly marked up hips from the large belly I have adorned now two times. With the most sincere and concerned tone, she said, “Oh honey! Kitty scratch you?” (She always calls me ‘honey’ when she’s serious or sincere about something) I said, “no, the kitty didn’t scratch me.” She said, “oh… you fall down? You go to the doctor?” After a little giggle, I happily explained that no, I did not get hurt or scratched, that when You were in my tummy my skin grew and grew around your growing body and it grew so much that my skin stretched so far that it made little marks on my skin. She then walked over to feel those silly little marks in my skin and asked “You’re not hurt?” I said, “nope.” “You have a baby in there” I said, “yep, I had a baby in there. You were the first baby, then I had Stella in there. Remember?” “huh..” she replied.
Every few days now she’ll lift my shirt up exposing my hips and ask to see my “baby tat” Haha.. something like that.

It’s after this that I realized that even though my daughter is two and a half years old, how I think about my body and more importantly right now, how I talk about my body is really making an impact on her. She has remembered those stretch marks every day since she first noticed them. She, like myself, has actually grown quite fond of them. She likes tracing her finger along the thin, shiny marks of skin and asking me to tell her stories about when I had babies in my belly. She has no idea that there are women all over the world who are covered by these fascinating little marks who actually hate them. Who try to cover them with creams, laser treatments. Women who try and try and try to prevent these marks from happening and are filled with great disappointment when the growth of the amazing womb inside them reaches the capacity of their skins elasticity, and they start literally, busting at the seems.
It’s something I hope she never knows, but of course I know the world she grows up in will be something like the world I grew up in and I wont be able to keep that secret forever. My goal is to show her, to instill in her, that there is another idea of how women feel about their bodies. It doesn’t have to be negative.

Now I have had my fair share of body image issues. I grew up in a home where dieting, counting calories, gastric bypass surgery and losing weight were in the topic of normal, daily comments and conversations. I remember when I was 4 years old telling my mom that she just call 1-800-94-Jenny to lose weight. I of course DID NOT think my mother was fat, I thought she was the most beautiful (and most comfortable) human being I’d ever seen. I had “cushy” legs just like her, and I wore them proudly. The comment obviously probably hurt my mom’s feelings and that’s probably why she’s never forgotten it, but the point I’m making here is that I did not think my mom needed to lose weight, but I had picked up on her talking about her weight and I thought that calling Jenny Craig might be something that would interest her.
Of course in a few very short years later, I started implementing that “weight talk” around me to myself. It might be cute for a 3 or 4 year old to have “cushy” legs, but at 6 or 7 I felt like I should look like my older sister. (who now looking back at pictures, her legs resembled more of a baby colt… nothing like my shapely muscly, short little legs. She was also over a foot taller than me at that point) In middle school and high school, my curves blossomed. I had stopped growing taller, but seemed to keep getting wider and rounder… some areas more welcomed than others. I had the body of a grown woman, when my friends still looked like kids. I wore a size 6, when most of the girls were wearing a size “0″. In 8th grade my sister who had given birth to her first baby started giving me clothes she no longer fit into. Not because they were too small, but because they were too big for her now nursing, and quickly dropping weight new mother-ish body. I’ve always prided myself on being a confident girl, but there were a few years in there that were really tough. Years that bring me to tears thinking of my own daughters that age, and what I might tell them when their perfectly curved bodies seem to not fit in.

Once I was through high school I began gaining confidence in other ways. I worked really hard all through school and at 17 had a really great job managing my own department in a spa, which I quit for getting a leg into the medical industry. I flourished as a surgical assistant at several different medical offices from dermatology, to podiatry, to plastic surgery. Ironically, it’s when I worked at one of the largest plastic surgery offices in Austin Texas and I could have had my pick at every procedure known, is when I started not wanting to change my body. I had become quite fond of my hour glass figure that I had once hated.
That year I got engaged to Brady and a few short months later we were married and expecting our little girl.

I really enjoyed my body during my pregnancy. It was actually the first time anyone had ever called me “skinny”. Funny that it took me gaining a huge round belly to look “skinny” to most of my friends.
After I delivered Harlo, I felt like my body was the most amazing thing that had ever been created. It created this beautiful little angel I now held in my arms, it stretched in unbelievable ways and somehow shrunk back to a normal sized human being… When Harlo was a few days old I remember telling Brady I felt like I could be on the cover of Shape magazine. It wasn’t how my body looked, it was all sagged and dimpled and marked just like anyone’s body is after having a baby, but I just FELT so amazing. So beautiful! I also remember wondering how long I would feel like this before the inevidable weight struggle would settle in… honestly it never did.
Between having Harlo and getting pregnant with Stella is when I became obsessed with natural birth. I had such an appreciation for what my body had done, but I wanted even more! (I know I talk about natural birth all the time, but it’s an important part of my journey to a healthy body image) I had made up my mind that I would absolutely enjoy my pregnancy with Stella. I would welcome the pounds that pregnancy had to offer, I would eat what I wanted and also eat what was good for my baby. I wouldn’t let food or calories become an issue. I gained double the amount I did in my first pregnancy, but I did it with a smile. I felt AMAZING!

A big part of my natural birth was becoming in tune with my body and my baby. I did yoga and meditation, and I really focused on my body. I loved my body so much for making this possible. I thanked my body on a daily basis. At the very end of my pregnancy, my belly was a miraculous 41 cm from pelvis to sternum. My hips had grown out of every pair of jeans and maternity bottoms I had, but my one year old had more room to snuggle that big round body of mine and I welcomed that. When Stella had finally decided that she was ready to enter the world, my body worked so hard to get her here. My body and my mind got in sync somehow in a way I’ve never felt before. I felt my body guide Stella out inch by inch. When my midwife would check for my baby’s heart rate to make sure everything was going smoothely, I already knew it was. I could feel every bit of my insides and what they were doing, I could feel Stella wiggling and sliding further and further into my hips and pelvis. I never had to think about it, my body knew exactly what to do. When it was time to push, my body knew exactly how hard and how soft each push should be to make sure that Stella and I stayed in our best condition. When I pulled Stella onto my chest, my body recognized that she was here and she began to nurse. And she nursed, and she nursed, and she nursed. And my body came up with the nutrients and fed that baby for the next 11 months. I mean, how can I not adore my body after that?
From the 170 lbs I weighed the day I gave birth, to the 127 lbs I weigh now one year later, I have continued to love this body of mine in every shape it’s been. I have fed it well

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nieces and nephews make the world go round… | St. George Children Photographer

By on August 19, 2011 in Babies, Family, Kids

Can you believe this little guy is already 5 months old?  Everytime I see him, I expect him to be swaddled up and all fresh and new smelling.. I’m always surprised when he’s a smiley, wiggly, squishy little hunk.  My heavens, he’s a dream baby!
A couple weeks ago my sister and her kids were down visiting from Salt Lake and while they were in town I had to grab them for a quick session.  Usually when the kids come over I make them pose for me, which some love and some hate, but it’s my favorite game and they love their Aunt Cass and they just do it. :)   Angie’s got the best kids, ever.  Brakken is the sweetest brother in the entire universe!  Maizee is the queen of the household, which they all know, and Tage… Tage is just the sweetest little bundle of sunshine you’ve ever met.
I love being an Aunt.  It’s second only to being a mom, and I must admit that sometimes, being an aunt is even funner!  It’s just like being a mom but you ALWAYS get to be the good guy.  Yay for nieces and nephews!

We just did this session all cozy on my bed, just like I love.  The kids were SO fun and funny in this session.  First, they’re all crazy photogenic.. it just runs madly in their blood.  Second, Brakken had a million (really good) ideas for each shot, and Maizee was cracking me up every second asking me as she would move her hand one way or another “is this cute, Cass?… what about this? … How about if I do my face like this?” I loved how each shot turned out.  Anything that looks really creative was probably Brakken’s idea.  I need to bring him on every shoot as my assistant.  The kid’s got mad skills!

Thanks for looking!

xo, C

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Baby Zoey | St. George Newborn Photographer

By on August 18, 2011 in Babies, Family, Lifestyle

Chase and Nisha have been good friends of mine for quite a few years now.  When she was pregnant with Zoey and asked me to do her newborns, I was totally excited.  They make some beautiful babies and Zoey did not disappoint.  She was a stunning little thing and as well behaved as ever.  I honestly never heard one peep out of her the entire time.  Such a little sweetie.

We wanted their session to be really cozy and “home-y”, which is my very favorite way to photograph a family, and especially a family with a newborn.  When I do a newborn session, I really try to focus away from the posed shots.  To me there is NOTHING more amazing than having a new baby in the house.  I am literally obsessed with it.  Just so, there is nothing more beautiful than a way a new mother is with her sweet little babe.  It always amazes me how relaxed a new mom is, and the connection she has with her baby.  The baby wiggles, the mom knows just what she needs.  It’s an amazing thing to see on a regular basis.  I will usually place a mom or baby where I want them or where the light sits beautifully on them, and then just sit back and wait.  These are always my favorite shots I get in a newborn session.
I also especially loved the shots I got of Chase and Zoey.  Chase was so excited to have a little girl, and the excitement in his face when he looks at her… just so sweet.  I am a total sucker for daddies and their little girls… :)

What a beautiful family, right?  My goodness.

xo, C

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Sprawka Family Sneak Peek | Southern Utah Family Photographer

By on August 15, 2011 in Family, Lifestyle

Last weekend, I went to visit my best gal, Haley.  Somewhere in the trip we squeezed in a family session and I’m so glad we did!  More about that trip and this session to come. :)

Goodness I love this family!

xo | C

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Stella’s Party

By on August 10, 2011 in Uncategorized


Stella’s birthday hit me like a ton of bricks. I am usually planning the party from 6 months in advance, but Stella’s.. I just couldn’t even think about it without it throwing me in a whirlwind of depression. I am such a baby about my babies growing up! Oh my goodness, I feel like I have enjoyed every single second of Stella’s first year that I just can’t believe it’s already coming to an end. What a special time it is to have a baby in your house living her first year of life. In the Balinese culture, they believe a baby in it’s first year of life to be a little God and bring lots of good luck. That idea always makes me smile.

Try as I might to make time slow down, her party came and went. It came together beautifully, thank you to the help of my girl’s amazing auntie who drove in from Southern California for the event.. and she baked over 90% of the deserts for her “let them eat cake” cake bar.

And because I am a sucker for cheesey rhymes and names, we named all of the deserts after Stella and her nicknames. :) Then we just kept it easy and summery with a little hot dog bar.

Way last minute, I thought I should try to incorporate her “monthly” pictures I do every month… I just figured the easiest way to do it and went with that, and it was so fun to see it all together like that. And it was a hit at the party! Everyone thought it was so neat and a lot of people don’t read my blog so they had never seen them before. I’m so glad I did those monthly pictures of hers!



We had such an amazing turn-out. Stella’s party was sort of symbolic this year as we’ve gone through a lot of changes and had a lot of great experiences and have grown a lot. We’ve made the best of friends this last year and really, it’s kind of like we created our own extended family. It’s always so nice to see how many people take the time to show my girls some love on their birthday. I’m always surprisingly touched by it.

(notice Harlo’s face has some ketchup on it, some chilli, some red velvet, some chocolate frosting… I think it’s safe to assume she had a good time)



Stella was so fun to watch at her party. She was everything your hopes and dreams of how a one year old should act a party would act. The cake pictures have to be my favorite. She was just so sweet and so excited about her cake. I tear up every time I think about it. She watched the candle so intently as we sang, and as soon as we blew it out, she leaned in and gave her cake a big sniff to just take it all in. Then she looked right up at Brakken with crazy excitement. Oh, so sweet.

Then she “dug right in” by sticking her pointer finger into the frosting and licking it off. That’s as far as she would go. Haha

It didn’t take Harlo long to jump in and show her how it’s done.

Our favorite tradition of writing birthday wishes onto balloons and letting them off into the sky did not disappoint this year! We had all sorts of friends and family that were able to do it this year. Everyone had fun with it. Harlo asked to “let the balloons off in the sky” every day for a week after.

So all in all, it was a great first birthday party. It was such a special day for us all to celebrate our tiny girl. We’re extremely blessed to have her in our lives.

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Summer To-Do List

By on August 9, 2011 in Uncategorized
Carlsbad, CA
{August 2011}
What a sweet little life I live….

We have had our busiest summer EVER. We have visited family in northern utah, southern california, watched best friends get married, played on the beach, had family visit us, celebrated a first, a 27th, a 30th and an 80th birthday, worked, worked, worked anywhere we could squeeze in and done a whole lot of dancing somehwere in there as well. And although I have attempted 293,289 times to keep up on my posts.. I have failed miserably. But for now I am just going to enjoy every last adventure this year is bringing us. What fun memories we’re making right now! I’ll be posting all about our summer just as my weekend trips come to an end next week.

Tonight I’m taking up the wise words of Ellen DeGeneres,

“Procrastinate now. Don’t put it off.”

maybe.. maybe? I’ll get Stella’s birthday posts up before we leave this weekend to visit my haley girl… wish me luck!

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Summer Night Picnics | St. George Family Photographer

By on August 8, 2011 in Family, Lifestyle

Jessica is one of my good friends.  We’ve known each other since we were in elementary, so getting to photograph her and her cute boys from time to time is super fun. :)  Planning her session this time was almost too easy.  She had been wanting to get in sometime, so I called her and said, “hey, I have an opening tomorrow if you can take it” She said, “okay.” I said, “No matchy clothes, meet me at my house and we’ll go from there, bring some of Drake’s favorites” she said, “okay.” and that was that.  Jessica is such a sweet mom and I really wanted to capture that in their session.  The ones of she and Drake on the blanket while he sips his milk are probably my favorites of the bunch.
We just had a grand old time chatting and giggling at their silly little Drake. The session was a blast.  I love simple sessions like this where the family just kicks back and acts like they would if I weren’t there.

Thanks for trusting me, Jess.  You guys were a great sport!

xo, C

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Happy Birthday

By on August 3, 2011 in Uncategorized

Stellabration Week will continue on this blog….
But right now I can’t pull myself away from this delicious birthday girl.
Happy Birthday to my sweet Stella Johann. You are such a special little person and I will be forever grateful that God sent you to me.
May you always feel the love I have for you, my precious baby girl.

Happiest day to you!

loves and Kisses from your Mama

xoxo
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Stellabrate | Southern Utah Baby Photographer

By on August 3, 2011 in Babies, Personal

Today my little Stella Babe turns ONE.  I am one proud (and yet, terribly sad) mama.  Man, that time flies way too fast, doesn’t it?

I never did smash the cake photos with Harlo and wished I had, so I thought the smash the cake session would be perfect for Stella’s “Let Them Eat Cake” party theme.  I am NOT a sweets type mom.. I keep my babies on total sugar lock-down for at least the first year, so doing this session a week before her birthday.. it was a stretch.  Of course, she was in HEAVEN!  Best way to keep a one-year-old still is to place a cake in front of them! :)

I’m off to go squish that sweet one-year-old chub of hers!

xo, C

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Stellabration Week :: Day 1

By on August 1, 2011 in Uncategorized

This week is Stella’s birth Week. I can’t even believe it!

I thought this week would be a good week to catch up on all that stuff you want to document in the first year, but they fly by in a few blinks of the eye and you never get the chance… Like my maternity pictures (photo credit to Errin Andrus), and all the moments and decisions in my pregnancy I never got to explain.

My pregnancy with Stella was such an amazing time in my life. I really took the time to enjoy every minute of my pregnancy. I did yoga, I bonded with my baby, I studied, and studied, and studied every bit of birth I could get my hands on. I thought of every single detail of my pregnancy and labor that would bring my baby into a safer, healthier, more calm environment. I used Stella’s pregnancy as an opportunity for my own personal growth. I started going to therapy and really dove into anything that would change my life for the better and make my family closer and more efficient. In so many words, my pregnancy with Stella really changed everything.

How I stumbled onto home birth:

During my first pregnancy, I almost hate to admit that I had never even thought of my birth options or experience or that I was actually a mother and fully capable of making the decisions that were right for MY baby. That thought never crossed my mind to question my doctor or to think beyond “labor hurts”, that is until the day AFTER I gave birth to my first beautiful little bundle of pink deliciousness, Harlo.
I was sick nearly every single day of my first pregnancy. I really loved it in a very different way, the way only a mother who loves that baby inside her could love a pregnancy, but I ate what I could keep down and I took my vitamins and nausea medication diligently and got through it. I gained a whopping 13 lbs total. At 37 and a half weeks along, I was still a bit nervous about becoming a new mom that I barely noticed that my pregnancy was coming to a quick end and my labor started on it’s own at one in the afternoon. I gave birth at 2:50 in the afternoon… the following day.
During my 26 hour labor filled with NO sleep, lots of medication, lots of numbness, which lead to lots of vomiting, lots of people in and out and in and out and in and out of my room, a doctor who had turned up completely MIA until the little darling’s (posterior) head was already out of my body… which I had temporarily, absolutely and completely forgotten about the first time I saw that beautiful little face with her big lips and squishy little body and the most luscious dark hair that I’d ever seen in my life. I was a mom. This was my baby. She cried the most beautiful sound in the world and her warmth felt absolutely heavenly as she was placed on my body. After all those eternal thoughts and emotions settled, I remember my first thought being “I didn’t know she’d be so beautiful”. Luckily, I had somehow managed to muster up the tiniest thought about my birth experience and previously asked for them not to take away my baby until I let them, I held her skin to skin for about 20 minutes until they took her to weigh her and wash her and bring her back for our families to flood in and shower our new family with love. I was much too tired to think as I had been up for the 33 hours before this moment, but as soon as I got my little 10 minute cat nap before I was being pushed to my new recovery room, I remember thinking “that’s weird.. I don’t even remember seeing my doctor during my whole labor.” I don’t remember a lot else about that night, but the next day I remember wanting to be home with my baby SOOOO much and I was literally being held hostage in a room with a broken heater that wouldn’t turn off and a nurse who kept ignoring my pages for MORE ICE PACKS, PLEASE! And who later apologized for ignoring me but I was “just back in the back room and I have way too many mothers to keep track of to get to everyone”. I started sobbing the minute we got in the car. I felt like something had been taken from me. Like someone had stollen from me on the biggest day of my life, and worse, that I had ALLOWED someone to steal from me on the biggest day of my life. Later that night, after I had FINALLY gotten in the shower and sobbed myself into relaxation, I got on amazon and ordered my first birth book. I was never, ever having a baby again if I had to have it in that hospital. (sorry DRMC)

By the time I got pregnant with my next baby, just 10 months later I had already studied birth and birthing options and I knew I wanted a home birth. I was still pretty worried about the pain factor (note the 26 hour labor mentioned above) but I humored my husband who had NOT done any studying and we interviewed both doctors and midwives. After the first midwife, my cynical little Daddy was already convinced. Home birth it would be.
I became obsessed. I treated it as if, well, it were my baby. I went to every class given by my team of midwives, I signed up for Bradley classes which my husband happily attended with me every Thursday night for the last 14 weeks, I really feel as if I took advantage of the joys of pregnancy I could get my hands on. As any accomplished natural birther will tell you, birth is a lot like a marathon. You have to really train and commit, but crossing the finish line will be the most miraculous feeling. I have to say (having never run a marathon) that crossing a finish line after 26.2 miles must feel amazing, but it could never touch giving birth naturally. It just couldn’t.
I, of course, dealt with all sorts of back lash with planning my natural home birth.. I’ve gotten every comment from “wow, you’re really brave!” to “my sister’s baby almost died, so I would never have a baby at home” to “are you going to have a midwife or something?” all the while looking at me like I had just told them I planned on tattooing my own face. Oh, did I also mention that at this point I had never really met anyone who had had a planned natural birth, much less a HOME birth? Looking back I’m really proud of myself for sticking with my guns and comitting to something that was so far out of my world of “normal”.
The people and comments I could take, but what I was NOT prepared for was to not only reach my due date, but to go OVER my due date. Now that… that is a test unlike any other. No one who has not gone over due with a baby could possibly understand the utter desperation one feels when they are completely full of nealry 8 pounds of a living, wiggling, nudging (and likely, uncomfortable) human inside their own body who they are just terribly eager to meet as they have been waiting patiently for better part of a year. For that last week, I asked myself “would you rather have a c-section today or be pregnant for one more day?” and I’ll admit that some days the c-section sounded pretty dang good. I tried every single natural remedy to get that baby out of my body. I bounced and lunged and rocked and walked and drank and ate and lathered up every single thing I had ever heard that could possibly get a baby out. But as most babies who are given the option, Stella had her own time to come and she knew exactly when it would be right.
That Tuesday morning at 9:40 am felt like the best moment of my life, when my water broke. And it only got better from there.

You can read Stella’s birth story from last year HERE.

My natural birth, giving birth to my 2nd daughter in the very room she was created, in the home she would spend her first years of life, pulling her out of my body with my very own hands with my adoring and strong partner at my side.. It’s something I wish for all my sisters and friends and especially my own daughters to experience.

Stella really completed my family. Not in a way that we’re not having any more kids, but in a way that we just really became a full family that day. Brady and I had really become partners more than just a couple. Harlo became a big sister as she was meant to be with her strong and loving personality. We became the Millers that day. And honestly, it only got better from there.

Maternity pictures taken in my bedroom exactly as I wanted them, to perfectly capture my pregnancy in June 2010.

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Harlo Tidbits

By on August 1, 2011 in Uncategorized
Harlo’s new favorite thing in the entire world is playing “matching game”

We play with the cards face up, but she caught on so quickly. She’s so good, she’d probably be able to do it with the cards face down now.


She is such a big girl, but some days I catch little glimpses of my baby still in there.. then it’s right back to that sassy big girl I’ve grown to love so much :)



Harlo has been on a major hiatus from taking pictures, but I think **hope** she’s growing out of that stage.
She says so many funny things that there is literally no way I could keep track right now.
The other day Stella was playing with some toy that was supposed to make noise of some sort but wasn’t working, I overheard Harlo tell her “Sorry, honey. He needs ba-a-ries (batteries) you okay?” like she just had to break some terrible news to her. Such a good sis.
If she gets in trouble or if I have to get serious with her at all, when I finish what I’m telling her she says, “k, Promise?”
Her favorite thing is to pinky swear, which she does with her pointer finger, and we both have to kiss it at the same time.
love this!
last week we were playing and she got a little too rough and hit my face… right away I said “Ow! Harlo.. we don’t hit faces.” and she goes “oh.. darn it! You okay, honey?”
She calls me honey all the time. It is seriously my favorite thing in the entire world.
When Stella talks in her jibber-jabber Harlo always says “oh really?!”
It is almost painful for Harlo when Stella is asleep. She asks every 2 minutes if we can go get her yet.
We always have to wait til we hear her, but sometimes I know Harlo sneaks in there or tries to be loud in front of her door then comes to me and says “Mom, Stella waked up!”
She has taken a sudden interest in the potty, usually after naps she asks for big girl panties and she sits on the potty.
I’ve been trying to hold her off a couple more weeks since we’ll be out of town every weekend til the middle of August, but we’ll see how it goes. I really wanted to wait until she was fully ready and more so it was her idea. If I try to push her, I know it will be a NIGHTMARE. So I am glad she’s started taking a liking to being a big girl.
Speaking of big girl.. the last 10 days she’s started skipping naps quite frequently.
I’m hoping this is not the end of naptime, but she really acts totally fine when she skips, so I think it’s coming.
I think every mother’s nightmare is the end of naptime, but once it comes it’s not as bad…

I don’t know, I guess that’s me trying to convince myself :)
With Stella’s birthday party craze, Harlo is obsessed with it!
She always says “Is it Stella’s birthday in two months?” Everyday she asks.. I have no idea where she got this.
The other day I was out in the living room sitting on the floor when she came into the room and said “well aren’t you something?”
She has the most brilliant one-liners.
She definitely has grown into the (I hate to use the word terrible, but) terrible two-and-a-half’s.
She is constantly pushing her limits, trying to figure out what she can control and how far she can cross the line.
She’ll go on these tangents for 2-3 days, then she’ll be amazingly well behaved for a few days.
We go from the terrific twos to terrible twos back and forth all week long.
I really try and realize how frustrating it is for her, and that helps me keep my cool and stop and slowly explain.
Although, sometimes that’s much harder than I’d like to admit.
Harlo got her first bite last week at our playdate.
She keeps talking about it and getting as much sympathy as possible. ha.
It wasn’t very hard at all, and unfortunately I think it’s probably the first of many fights with kids. :( Being a kid is rough!
We have also had our first bouts with sisterly drama.
I am on constant damage control, poor Stella.
It usually starts out with lovins and then ends with Harlo laying on top of Stella or having her in a headlock of sorts.
The other day while I was gone (of course it’s the only time I’ve ever had my sister watch the girls, Harlo was a troll) Harlo poked Stella in the eye on purpose, from what I was told.
The thing is, usually when Stella does end up hurt, Harlo is the one who’s most upset.
And her apologies to Stella are always so sincere.
I always say “you need to apologize to your sister.” and Harlo immediatley goes and says something in variation to “Stella, I’m so sorry. You okay, honey? I don’t want to hurt you!”
I hope her apologies always stay so sweet.
and it’s always “I’m so sorry” never just “i’m sorry”
But as sisters do, they make up the next minute and they’re on to their next little game.
They have started having their little inside jokes and games and it’s so fun to watch.
Last week their favorite was putting their hand in front of their mouth and shouting like an indian.
This week it’s throwing their heads back and saying “whoa!” they take turns and laugh and laugh at each other.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there is no better sound in the entire world than my girls giggling together. I’m sure I’ll still enjoy it when they’re in their 20′s and 30′s and 40′s.
Her favorite thing to do is bring Stella her blanky and watch how excited she gets about it. She says “here Stel!” and then as soon as she passes it she says “ohhhh hohoho, ohhhhh blanky!” for a few minutes to help get Stelly hyped up over it :)
She has days where she wants to be a baby, and other days when she wants to be a big girl.
I do tend to hold Stella quite a bit, and ever once in a while, Harlo wants to be held.
I usually love the opportunity to hold her in my arms and rock her and snuggle her.
I know she wont be asking to “hold you” forever.
I always tease that she’s a better babysitter than Brady, which is not totally true, but she is a dang good baby sitter.
I love listening to them while I get ready in the mornings (or the afternoons… I’m not gonna lie, there’s never a set time for mama to have 20 minutes alone or with 2 free hands, rather.) Harlo will attend to Stella for the first little while and Stella becomes more and more restless and Harlo tries to keep it together until she can’t anymore. The other day after Stella had started in on the full on melt down, Harlo came in to me and said “mom, Stella’s freakin’ out.” haha. Other times she’ll say “Stella’s really mad, I think you should feed her.”
Harlo has such an imagination!
Last week I was cleaning the bathroom and Harlo had lined all the cleaning products up, named them all and was playing with them and making them all talk with each other. They would fight and make up and laugh and laugh, and fall in love and sing… She can be entertained with ANYTHING.
This week Auntie came for Stella’s birthday party and of all things, Harlo got the biggest kick out of Willow’s chain collar. One minute it was her dog on a leash, then it was her baby and she was singing it a lullabye, then it woke up and was crying, then it was her princess crown, then her purse… she got all sorts of uses out of that thing.
She loves to dance and listen to music.
She would truly rather listen to Pandora radio than watch a movie.
All. Day. Long she asks me to dance.
I swear that’s how I’ve lost all my baby weight. We dance allllll day long.
I’ll be holding Stella and dancing with her and I’ll look down and Harlo will be holding her baby doll copying everything I do.
Harlo doesn’t always show her love to me very obviously, so when she copies me like that, I know she thinks I’m pretty cool. ;)
Today as I was rocking Stella for her nap, Harlo whispers to me “okay, be really quiet and go put her in her room” then she followed me in there saying “shh, shh, shh,” the whole way like I do and tip toes out of her room and helps me quietly shut the door.
She’ll be such a good little mama.
Some days she really does give us a run for our money, but we truly wouldn’t change her personality for the world!
She is such a staple in this family and I’m so glad she’s mine.
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